Such an age since I've blogged. Nearly 3 months. Why I wonder? Too little time? Busy Life? Nothing new to say? All of those things I guess. Sad really.
Tonight we were watching Morse on TV and something came up about taking communion. Don made a comment about it. I replied semi-automatically - as one does.
"Did you used to take communion?" asked he.
Well yes, I did," was my reply. And then I felt obliged to explain.
As a child my parents did not really enforce the church bit. They were products of a mixed marriage - Lutheran and Anglican. Both were forced to go to church as children and both being very intelligent thinkers questioned the norms as young adults. They determined that they would not force their children into churchgoing.
I went to an Anglican girls school, for no other reason than my father was public school educated in England and my mother - a delightful woman always felt envious of and inferior to her cousins who went to private schools in Adelaide. I had been christened quite late (about 8) at the urgings of both school and very religious aunt and uncle who had migrated from England and lived with us for 12 months in the late forties (10 pound Poms) So at school I was urged into confirmation and for some time as an adolescent had the religious fervour to attend church. Besides we had a great priest, a very vibrant youth club and BOYS!!!
We didn't have much money to spare after mum paid private school fees. No decent clothes. I wore my school uniform to church, which was OK when I was in my early teens, but became less appealing as I grew older.
We moved house and I moved church, which was OK. Good youth club. BUT, although by now I had clothes - because I learnt to sew and was good at it, I DID NOT HAVE ANY HATS!!! and one was expected to wear a hat at Anglican services in the fifties!!! Especially in the area in which I was living.
So, I stopped going to church!! How embarrassing for a 16 year old to have to wear her school uniform to church because she did not have a non-uniform hat!!! And what a reason to stop going to church. BUT it was a very valid reason for me at the time.
And the Anglican church was pondering over the reason why the younger people were not going to church!!
I have never really gone back to church - never felt really comfortable, never felt the need. My kids were christened early on, but none of them are church goers now. Is it any different now. I honestly don't know. And do I care? Not at all! I live my life according to my principles. And they are basically christian principles.
What did I get from going to a church school and to church.
I learnt that there is a social hierarchy and that going to a private school did give you entry into some elite circles - if your parents moved in those circles! I learnt that a lot of people went to church because it was the expected thing. I learnt that if you didn't have a decent hat then you felt uncomfortable because you got stared at. I learnt that there were some priests/ clergymen who genuinely felt about the young people in their church and did their best to help and support them (but I could never tell my priest about not having a decent hat). I learnt that lots of cool boys went to my church. I learnt that I could live like a christian without going to church. I learnt that you didn't have to be a christian to live a good and decent life.
I learnt that I could still talk to my version of God without going to church.